Strangely enough...

...I just found an article which kind of related to what I was saying.

http://theresurgence.com/heart_confirmation_discerning_gods_call

Apart from it using sexist pronouns, it was a  really good article. 

Some quotes I found helpful:

People who are genuinely called often go through seasons of doubt and uncertainty. But over time, the sense of calling grows stronger, not weaker.

In a heart call, there is a deep inclination in the soul that says, I must do this or I might die. The called man cannot imagine going into another vocation: he thinks about ministry, dreams about ministry, and cannot shut up about ministry. There is an abiding, relentless desire for the work of ministry that the called man cannot forsake, shake off, or ignore.

There were some questions to ask yourself, and I figured that this was as good a place as any...

Is God's call in my life internally audible? Do I sense his voice bidding me to serve him vocationally?
I find it kinda hard to say for 100% sure and certain that God is calling me, but I think so. And there seems to be a lot of indicators in my life that seem to agree with me. Like how in the Alex Ryder books, his Uncle has prepared him to be a spy, even when he was a little kid.  But I suppose that's more head stuff than heart stuff. I think for about 8 years now I have felt God wanting me to work in church ministry, so I guess so.

Do I strongly desire pastoral ministry? Is the thought of doing something else with my life unimaginable?
I really do. I know my last post I said that a lot of things suck about ministry, but on the whole, I really love it. I want to be able to tell people about Jesus, all the time. I don't want it to be something I just fit in around my career.
I can imagine doing other things with my life, but they all sounds terrible in comparison. Even my chaplaincy job is getting hard to do, because I want to be spending all of my time spreading the gospel, so while administering emotional first aid is alright, I just can't put my whole heart into it. I can't think of anything I could do that would be worthwhile.

Do I want to go into ministry in order to make a name for myself, to prove that I am somebody, or to atone for past failures? Am I testing my motives for ministry and asking God to refine my desires and thoughts?
Make a name for myself, I don't think so. I mean I do like being the centre of attention, but that's a different kettle of fish. I don't really believe in atoning for failures, and I don't feel like that much of a failure anyway lol. I do try and test my motives, and I think they are OK. All I want is to do what God wants, and to tell people about Jesus. But this is a good thing to be aware of I guess. pride can be pretty bad.


Do I love people? Do I want to help people? Is my desire to go into ministry mainly about me, or mainly about helping other people by pointing them towards Christ?
I'm an extrovert, of course I love people :P. it's kinda hard, because helping people often makes you feel good yourself, so it's very difficult to know if you are being selfish or not about helping them in the first place. But I'm willing to  help them without any resulting good feelings, so I spose i'm not that selfish.